Thinking....& thinking...

hey ppl... well, i really seem to leave a huge time frame between my posts! envy those who are free enough to update their blogs on a daily basis. same routine week. have been visiting my baby angel weekly since she was born. i love her loads. wish i could see her more often though. i have been thinking abt many things lately, literally thinking in all aspects. it's quite normal for me to do so, but i guess i over exerted my mind this time round. but it just didn't help that many things made me start thinking. u guyz muz be wondering wat an ass like me will be thinking abt. hmmz, abt my friends & "friends", relatives, studies & many other stuff.(of course, including stuff tat wasn't worth giving a second thought!!) it's at times like these i've got to agree with the few geniuses who feel i'm unintelligent!
i haven't been feeling well the past few days. very bad headache...(with special thanx to the accompanying emotional heartbrake.) i just cannot understand ppl. yeah right! i can't even understand myself in the 1st place, how am i going to understand others? guess i was just fated to be this way, to have friends who remember u only when they see u, & to totally ignore u when u need them the most. a kind soul emailed me a few days ago, asking why most of my posts seemed to have been written when i was feeling down. wat touched me most however, was the person's last sentence. it read, "... dun worry abt the friends u already have. i promise to try my best to be there when u need me." i'm not ashamed to say i shed tears when i read the email. i mean, it made me realise that there were gems out there who were waiting to be friends, but yet to be discovered. it feels great to take comfort in the fact that u have a friend who is there for u... sometimes, it's not all abt forging new friendships & realationships. it dosen't help if they all turn out to be short-term acquaintances... also, it definitely does good to cherish those who care & think abt u... it's pointless to realise their value & cry in despair after they have left u.
but again, how do u know who treasures u & who doesn't? many, & i mean many, have mastered & perfected the art of feigning care & concern. i won't blame those who lost gud friends because they couldn't differentiate the pretentious ones... i really pity them.