Monday Happenings...

I was supposed to meet Yi Fei @ 11.30am @ Aljunied Mrt Station. I was to follow him to Kino. I woke up only @ 11am... :-P Yeah, what follows next would be predictable. Took my own sweet time to bathe & dress up, after informing the darling of course. Actually, I've realised that I don't take a long time to dress! It's just that I take a considerable amount of time deciding what to wear... :-P

Met him at Orchard directly. We had lunch @ Paragon. He brought me to this Chinese Restaurant that I had always wanted to go to. They serve the world's best dumplings. Literally! They're one of the world's top 10 best chinese restaurants. Impressive eh? I enjoyed lunch, in fact, it was bliss compared to what I had to endure in the name of lunch the previous day!

It was shopping after that... I seriously am broke, but I just can't resist shopping! Aarrgghh! I ended up with 3 Polos, and a shirt. I have been wanting to get the linen-cotton shirt for quite sometime, & today was the day to get my hands on it! The 3 Polos were a bonus. I'm not stating the amount I spent... I'm sooo broke! :-(

And I still can't find my camel-coloured sandals! Double sadness. :'-(

Yi Fei Saved My Sunday...

I was totally sceptical when "they" told me that the meeting time was 11am @ Tampines Mrt control station. Reason? It was a Sunday morning in question... Which idiot would wanna get up that early? Or rather, I wouldn't bother getting up in the morning for the matter! But... I did. Yeah... I, Shankar, actually woke up early on a Sunday morning, to meet "them". What irritated me the most, was the fact that I was the earliest to reach almost quite puntually! So much for being known to be the one who takes the longest time to dress up! I was totally pissed...

If that wasn't enough, the one who planned & decided on the timing, arrived almost 2 hours late. And lunch was at Pasta Mania. Trust me, having Pasta Mania 2 days in a row isn't a wise idea. I hated having lunch there, every mouthfull was a chore. Event the linguine seemed unhappy to end up being chewn in my mouth. As if I wasn't feeling bad enough, Someone there had to make it worse... :-(

Honestly, I'm not that caught up with my woes, that I'm not even blogging about appreciating the fact that I had people to lunch with. I mean, yes, appreciating people is one thing. But forcing myself to be comfortable due to the appreciation is another.

"Someone" told me to go with the flow, take the chill-pill & etc. Personally, I think you are only capable to say such unintelligent stuff, when you don't take anything seriously in life.

Thanks to my darling Yi Fei, my remaining Sunday after the "memorable" was saved! Yay! LoL! We headed to City Hall, covered Citylink Mall, Marina Square & Suntec. Not without a reason of course. I was looking for sandals to match a camel-coloured bag I bought. *Smiles Widely* And yes, I'm absolutely sure there's a colour in the fashion world called "Camel". Have triple-checked even though I was positive. It's a statement of personal precaution before someone asks me if I was doing a Ris Low, inventing Khaki green! But sadly, I couldn't find any footwear in the same colour... Sadness.

An Uneventful Saturday

This has to be one of my rather Uneventful Saturdays... I'm soo bored! Or maybe it's just that I'm too lazy to go out again!

I met Strawberry for lunch, we went to Eighteen Chefs @ Eastpoint. (Erm, we're both sticklers for punctuality, so I shan't say the time we met for lunch!) He was telling me that the serving was a bit smaller compared to the usual for dinner. But the food wasn't too bad, we had cheese baked pasta. We managed to chat for awhile, before he was off for a game of tennis. Thanx for the lunch, SB!
I had reserved a shirt @ TM, went to try it on. Imagine my disappointment, when I tried on size S, and it was really loose! I'm not kidding, the cut was so huge, that the size S seemed like an XXXXXXL! I loved the colour, and it was only $40! But I didn't buy it in the end... Was too loose to be even altered. Sighs...

Am looking forward to the outing to "God-knows-where" tomorrow. Hahakz! All I know is that I'm supposed to meet my friends @ Bedok MRT Station @ 11am. I'm only worried about my punctuality. It's too early for a Sunday meeting! But I can't complain, as it's another opportunity to dress & work it! Hahahakz!

And, my Dearest Vikku called me a smelly, lazy pig for sleeping a little more than usual!!! AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH! :-P

An Extract From Dec'08

Hey Peeps! I posted this last year in Dec, thought this extract would be a good personal reminder for me.

"Went to watch Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi on Friday night at 11.25pm, it was the opening day of the movie. Seriously, it was a wonderful movie. The new heroine is beautiful, and Shahrukh's acting is 1st class. A love story told in a very different way. All girls would pray to have a husband like the character in the movie. But it was the points & dialogues about love in the movie which really hit home. Seriously, I think I've began to look at love at a different angle. I've again realised that, It's not about expecting reciprocative love in return of loving. There's actually more pleasure in Loving someone much more, without expecting any love at all. It's hard, but it was so well potrayed in the movie. Love is such a beautiful thing... But It's just so painful & hurting at the same time..."

So befitting at the right time... I'll stop expecting anything... And I mean, Anything.

A Brief Update

Hey ppl! It's been some time... I'm not gonna spin stories about being extremely busy to update my blog. I had confidently stated in a previous post that I was only gonna be blogging about happy stuff. To hell with my confidence...

I definitely had my fair share of happy moments, but they were far too trivial (it's what I choose to think...) to be blogged about.

Why I started posting again? I guess, I need a venue to... express pressing issues. Speaking of "Issues"... When do you acertain that ppl have got issues with you? Or, when do you conclude that you have issues with ppl? Me & Issues seem to have some close affinity! I mean, for those kind-hearted souls who have been following my blog for the past couple of years, you'd know exactly what I mean.

I'll face it. How do I address the issues that ppl have with me? Or to start with, how on earth do I solve the issues that I have with myself?? I'm not lying when I say, "I've tried my best". It doesn't work that way. It seriously doesn't. When would the world (Ok... world would be too much of an exaggeration)! When would the "HEART-FULL" souls around me come to understand that my issues will be settled, only when their's with me is???

I've passed the stage of worrying about passing clouds. At this juncture, I'm proud to announce that I classify the majority associated with me as "Passing Clouds". They were never meant to stay, nor meant to be celebrated...

I've mentioned this before... It hurts most, when it's caused by someone close/loved/cherished. I've got a million questions, but none of them have answers to them. How do I stop caring for the one who doesn't care about what happens to me? How do I stop thinking about the one who doesn't give 2 hoods about my existence? How do I stop loving the one who said, "You're Mine", but didn't mean any of it? If your main intention was to hurt... you succeeded. Indifferent A.h.

I'm in no mood for ending salutations...

Thanx for reminding me about my blog Vikku, I owe u one... :-)

Busy...

Hey ppl! I've been really busy with many stuff, both in camp & personally. Things have been alright, if not great! LoL!

I guess one transformation that I'm truly proud of is the fact that I'm smiling more. Even in times of hardship(That hell lot of shit only happens inTekong!), I do smile quite unforced! Hahakz! I'm Definitely not becoming mentally unstable. I guess I've began to realise and accept the fact that, if things are really bad at times & there's nothing that can be done about it, the only thing is to smile & accept it!

I'm appreciating life, my friends & etc. I guess it'll take a little more time for me to settle down in this new phase I'm getting myself accustomed to...

And I especially love this particular new edition in my life, who is the reason for my smiles....
*SMILES*

Happy!

Hey ppl! I'm seriously feeling happy after a long time! No more sad posts, (I hope), emotional breakdowns. Seriously, I've had many wonderful things happening in my life. Will blog about them soon. Take care guyz. WoooHooo! :-)

P.s: I can't tolerate pathetic ass-heads who leave tags under the name of anonymous. Cummon, instead of telling me to get a life, you should get a grip of urself 1st. Be daring/bold to say what you want. And I think I know who you are... Lame Piece Of Shit. :-)

The Answer To My Riddle.

Well, I thought the person in concern would have the basic decency to at least reply me after being precisely told to read my blog.

To whom it concerns: I asked for the riddle between us to be solved, but, since you've remained silent up till now... I've clearly understood what bit of respect you had for the friendship we shared. You've never respected me, but I thought the friendship had some meaning to you. I was clearly wrong. Anyways, in your particular case, everything was wrong. The countless fake fronts you presented with, and perhaps I finally get to see your True skin colour now... Unfortunately, it's not as white as your exterior is... Nothing close to it at all. Yes, point the finger at me and say it was All, Entirely my fault. I truly agree. But I guess you'd never have expected the people whom you bitched about me to, to end up getting posted to Tekong right? Well, you were someone who "stood by me" since ITE times. How different would you be in NS???
But I'm not gonna be ungrateful. Wether or not you were genuine for all I care, I met your Dad through you. He's a great soul, and I wanna say thank you for introducing me to him. God knows what stories were spinned about me to him by some kind soul, thus I'm saving myself from any embarassment to call him and speak to him proper.

Anyways, back to the riddle... Since you've answered with silence, I guess that's what you expect from me. As you wish, I'll be silent... So much, for loving & caring for someone and parring them with my mum. Shame on me.

You deserve it Shankar.

Fate, Life, Friendship...

I've decided not to have any salutations to anyone for this post. Not really in the mood to inquire about ppl's well being rather...

I'm extremely happy... or rather, am feigning happiness to try deceive myself that I'm Happy. Confused??? I'm very clear about my statement. Crystal clear...

Well, I've successfully isolated myself from the soul I called my bestie, who in return has rather conveniently forgot about my existence.(Or so I choose to think.) I mean, he claims to have stayed away because he though I'd be happy without his friendship. Well, that much for him knowing me well. Anyways, isn't that a very convenient excuse not just for him, but for everyone of us? (I'm including myself too.) When in actual fact, the truth would be that my abstainence would be like a good relieve, or in a much blatant term, good riddance?

I've never been perfect enough as a bestie anyways. We've never had any similar likings. It's like, pairing a party animal who boozes, with an ass who utterly detests drinkers & smokers. Pairing a soul who calls clubs with blaring music his kinda place, with one who enjoys quiet surroundings. Pairing a guy who calls everyone whom he has much fun with his brothers, with a guy who befriends selectively with much hesitations due to many previous bad experiences. Pairing one who doesn't see a need at all to meet someone uninteresting & comes up with wonderful excuses, with one who would give any excuse to the rest just to meet one. In simple words, one's only concern would be his own packed schedule and his free time, while the other would wait in vain, In Vain, wondering when the other would be free...

And ultimately, pairing an extremely gifted musically-inclined genious, with a musical idiot who only knows how to move his feet to the sounds of his anklets attached.

I guess Fate enjoys playing with all my friendships... It paired 2 totally opposite poles together as besties, made them go through whatever they did for more than 2 years, and then just wrecks everything. But Fate's one-sidedness shows clearly. I'm always the one in the loosing end, feeling all the miseries & sorrows. The other parties on the other hand, always seem to be in joyful glee...

Shankar accepts the fact of Life & Friendship. If you're happy, I'm more than happy for you... I just pray that no one, not even my arch enemy, should ever go through the emotional turmoils I've been put through... Only I know how badly it hurts, so I do not expect any ass-heads to advice me on how I'm supposed to take it, or tell me "It can't be that bad"...

And lastly, to the one in concern: Maadu, you'll never understand, but it's hard for me. I guess that IS the problem. You'll never understand... It's been months since we met, since we spoke. I know how tight your schedule is, but has my schedule ever been a concern to you? I can't forget the weekend duty I had to pay for, & got only disappointments in the end. That was a big blow, and I haven't "recovered" from it. I try to be close, but you seemingly distance yourself. No replies till I've stopped smsing you. I asked to see you once a week, then it was once a fortnight, that too became once a month, and now, once in a few months. If your point was to show that you didn't see a need to meet me often, I've got your point perfectly. It'll then result in seeing you once a year, & eventually after that one last meeting, your attendance would only be at my funeral. (I can't believe I'm smiling now... in self-mockery). You're truly missed, & my prayers are just for a miracle to happen between us. I reinstate, you're still up there as my Bestie. It's you who have to end the riddle between us. Luv you Yerumai...

Valentine's Day...

Hey ppl! Wish all of you guyz a very happy Valentine's Day...

I think I had enough of everything I've had to put up with. From apologising to idiots who don't deserve a single bit of respect, to getting reprimanded from asses who've gotta learn to look at their own backs 1st, And.... Holding on to people who have got no regard for me at all! I mean, if they've got a life, I've got Mine too! MY LIFE! I think I'd seriously prefer to be an arrogant, loner kinda ass. I mean, what have I gotta lose anyways? It's not like the people who I'm surrounded with now are soo dear/precious that my life will lose its function without them. They used to be, but with their rotten characters & shitty attitudes, I don't think I'd wanna hold on any longer...

There used to be a point of time when this particular person was a part of my life. But, my relationship with that person in question has reached a point so low that, the soul's existence is of no importance to me anymore... Instead of sticking on together with so much differences & difficulties and watch the friendship break, I think it's best to stay apart now, & just think of everything as passing clouds... I had enough of trying to be close to you to find out how you're doing, what your activities are & what your schedule's like. Closeness should come on its own, a natural kinda bond. If I'm trying so hard, & you so selfishly don't bother giving 2 hoods about it, then you're just not worthy of my friendship, what more my time. I recall telling you that Fate had to decide our next meeting and the course of our friendship. I guess that the friendship has reached its point of disembarkation, a point of no return. Have never seen anyone who is solely interested in their love life, enjoyment, and self gain. Actually, I don't even recall being of any use to you. I'm still puzzled by how we actually stuck as friends for 2 years+. It's either I was too hopeful, or you were just sceptical all the while... I have so much issues to sort out with you(Mourning the death of a friendship), but you still got the cheek to ask me "What can be so wrong?". Each time I try to tell you what I'm unhappy about, your standard answers will be, "Don't talk about the past" or "How many times you wanna say the same old things over & over again?". You've got no idea how much hurt you put me through... I've tried so hard sticking by you, but this is what I get in return. Ahh, I guess all your old/newfound brothers, & the love of your life are far more than enough to keep your life full of bliss. Instead of being your friend and feel miserable & unwanted, I'd rather stay away and feel the same... Who are we to change Fate's plans???

Had an enjoyable Valentine's Day, but am in no mood to blog about it. Will probably tell you guyz about some enjoyable outings I had in the past weeks in the upcoming posts. Take care ppl.

Don't ever take anyone for granted in life. On the day you realise their true worth, they might no longer be there for you anymore...

I Miss Blogging...

Hey guyz... I really miss blogging. I recall mentioning in my 1st few posts that Blogs are a blessing for those who don't have any avenue to voice their feelings. I realised that when I had someone to talk to or share my feelings/thoughts with, I didn't really see a need to blog. But of late, I've been longing to blog but sadly, time is constantly a constraint...

Don't know what's becoming of my relationships with people. I seem to be holding on to the wrong people for the wrong reasons! My friendship with Kabi Maadu can never be worst. I've been accused of being ignorant (time & again, I'll be getting such comments), by asses who actually display ignorance extremely well themselves! Oh, & the icing on the cake? Being in shitty PTMC!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Is it really that a person can be sooo busy to totally Forget about you? Or is it just that he/she totally can't be bothered about my friendship or me? Or is it just plainly my stupidity for befreinding idiots who feign care & concern for their personal satisfaction of being labelled "A good friend"???

My choices of friends couldn't have been that wrong right???..... Or were they?

Things Aren't Good....

Hey ppl. Hope you're all doing good. If you're not into reading about sad recounts of recent happenings in my life, pls give this post a miss...

Things aren't good, aren't good at all...

The major tragedy in my life(not concerning human beings), is currently Pulau Tekong! Being a medic there is the worse thing one can ask for. Countless duties, covers, back-stabbing, politics, seniors with the same rank bullying the juniors,(we're definitely much knowledgeable!) & etc. It's taking its toll, it seriously is... I feel like checking into Hougang Chalet, think it would be in my best interest, to my best benefit...

The other major tragedy? This time concerning humans! The ones whom are associated with me... Ok honestly, I should be saying: The ones whom I'm associated with, since I'm the one clinging on.
Who do I start with? My bestie maadu who is seemingly becoming the ignorant ass he was? Or the pretty girl who doesn't know what she wants in life? Or the aquaintances who are seemingly(I stress on the word seemingly) showing much care & concern?

I'm definitely not gonna complain about Kabi. I know myself, & how good I am at effortlessly driving ppl up the wall. I guess he's just had about enough shit with me. I'm forever lamenting about NS, while he basks in the glory of serving the nation. 2 totally different perspectives, which boils down to 2 TOTALLY different characters. The question is definitely not about who deserves the other's friendship, but more about the purpose & life of It as a whole. My defence mechanism is functioning perfectly well. If my friendship is UNWANTED/UNAPPRECIATED, shouldn't I be staying away as far as possible to prevent self-degradation & embarassment? He's clearly displaying to me his discontent, & he knows I'm not a fool to not even read the slightest imprints of sarcasm or ignorance between the 5 lines of the sms. I asked many days ago if we were gonna play the game of not keeping in contact for a long period of time again. I haven't gotten a reply since... And, Shankar is tired of hanging on... The grip is loosening.

Pretty gal? Once again, it's a personal issue I wouldn't dwell into. Let that story be a permanent imprint in a Personal Diary...

I'm not brushing them off, but the aquaintances are not worthy of mention just yet. I mean, anyone would be alarmed at out-of-the-way gestures & concerns by people whom are a relative unknown! With my closest friendship at stake, I'm definitely not confidently gonna get close with just any passing speck in my life. It's gonna take a very long time, & if I lose the battle of Friendship, EVERYONE becomes a passing cloud, with No exceptions.

Imagine being lonely, or left to be alone, when you need Someone most.
Shame On You...

1st post for 2009...

Wish all of you guyz a very happy & prosperous new year. May 2009 be a year filled with much happiness & goodness.

I think I started of the year well, with a temple visit with mum in the morning. Went to my favourite temple in Serangoon. It was really very crowded, to the extent where there were policemen stationed in the temple itself for the sole purpose of crowd control! To be more precised, majority of the crowd were Indian nationals. Before I say anything further, I just wish to clarify that I'm not biased against foreign nationals... But it's just that, they don't seem to have basic decency/courtesy to start with! They were literally pushing everyone around, not even bothered to say "excuse-me", taking pictures in various poses even though basic common sense would suggest it being the wrong place & time for memorablia! Oh, & not forgetting the Educated foreigners who push their kids in a pram within the temple! For Heaven's sake, the place is already congested to it's maximum capacity, would it hurt to carry the precious child for a while & keep the pram folded?
I guess it's because of these Foreigners' selfish behaviour, which is the reason why many Singaporean Indians stay away from Serangoon on weekends & public holidays. They'd probably had enough of the shoving & pushing they're subjected to with these "very sensible" foreigners around! Aargh!!

I had Subway for lunch, before leaving to meet Boon Siong at Plaza Singapura. Finally got the chance to meet him today after some time... He accompanied me to The Cathay, as I had to repair my handphone. It's so pathetic of Motorola to only have 1 service outlet! We then met Leonard who happened to be at Plaza Sing as well. Chatted awhile before me & BS went off to have dinner. Ok, I met up with quite a number of people today. I think their names don't have to be mentioned, but I've gotta list down the places I ate at today! I had Carl's Jr, Swensen's, Manhattan Fish Market, & Subway again! I ate soooo much, that I was literally filled with food up to my brains! Hehehe! I've never felt so full in my life before!

Kabi Maadu just called, to say he was locked out of his room, with the key inside! I'd better call to check on how's things. Take care ppl.